Many who I love are having a rough winter. Whether it’s chronic illness, financial insecurity, life choices that maybe aren’t what they wish them to be, isolation, Covid, the loss of a friend or a family member – there are many things troubling those I care about right now. Social media amplifies our concerns, prayer lists are long, and the need continues to multiply.
As humans, we are fixers. Some of us are more content to let time sort things out, as it often will, but others of us, especially we Type-A control freaks, fuss and fume and try our best to eliminate/cope with the bad things in our lives.
It’s that realization that some things are out of our control that’s hard to swallow.
There are enormous things that happen in our lives – loss of those we love, illness, death, childhood trauma, job changes, betrayals – these things alter us. Our outlook on life changes. Our trust in others changes. Our walls go up. We wonder how we will make it through each day.
In the end, most of us cope. It’s much more pleasant to be happy than to be sad. Those bad feelings, while never gone, meld into all the other feelings, hopes and dreams that make up our lives. We may not know quite how we will do it, but as time marches on, so do we.
The danger is in not letting go. Getting stuck in the morass of the past. Taking the grief and the hurts and the wrongs and the slights that have been dealt us and cuddling them close. Doing that changes us, and not for the better.
Mama used to tell me that we make our own heaven and hell right here on earth. Our attitude determines whether we greet each day with optimism – or whether we will see only the darker side of life. We are all there at the tipping point. It is the resilience with which we take the heartbreak life gives us that determines our fate.
Many of us find solace in paying it forward. If we can’t help ourselves, perhaps we can help others. Maybe it’s a donation to a food bank or to Goodwill. Maybe it’s performing a kindness for a friend who can’t do the task on their own. Maybe it’s just a check-in phone call to listen for awhile to someone else’s troubles. It’s a stepping outside ourselves in service to others – and it’s healing.
All my life, when I’ve finally realized that I can’t fix it, I’ve asked God to just take it. Take it from me. Force me to let go. Teach me to understand that some things are beyond mortal control. Jesus, take the wheel. Literally.
The Serenity Prayer tells us to simply let it go. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.
Serenity. The peace of simply letting it go. Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on.
Turning over rocks and looking for stars tonight…at 62 – and beyond.
At 62 